lily-livered lilliputs

what's this?! i'm RUNNING from a fight.

heroes don't run, of course. we retreat. because these are WEAKLINGS, PUPS, mere SNUFFLES compared to the WOES of the WORLD that awaits salvation. moreover, 7h3y grant NO XP! we must fear nothing but these TRAPS designed to WASTE OUR TIME, and fight only big sugar puff daddies like this:

... which of course i owned with full health, but that's my job.

if only the world were filled with less DISTRACTIONS, things like this COMMON TEST, then maybe the REAL MEN could stop WASTING TIME EVADING them and do REAL THINGS, like fighting the mojo bad dragon that is half the size of my frigging screen and wants to EAT the princess. ... and here's a screenshot of the princess:
do you SEE NOW why it's so important to KILL that dragon?! anything who wants to eat THAT THING is SALAUDE, MAD IN THE HEAD, must be GOTTEN RID OF before it farts from a mountain and infects our children with brain disease. like giving them common tests.